i divorced him. (just a joke, i like my ex-husband quite a bit.)
seriously? i've started with a question when i've had to do similar things - "you seem to have morphed into a very different person. do you realize how much you've changed?"
chazza said: Oh bless you huni. . .My heart goes out to you on this one. We have all been there at one time in our life, whether friend or even a partner.
I certainly dont believe you need to be 'cruel to be kind'. Usually there is a rhyme and reason to their change in behaviour.
I have truely believed. . A real friend would not 'tell them what they want to hear'. Its not helping them to see what they havent realised they have blindly become. . . Xx
chazza said:p.s. . .if their behaviour is soley aimed toward you all the time, taking out on you. The direct/shock approach im afraid is the only way.
Saying 'sorry but who do you think you are talking and behaving to. . .? I wouldnt dream of entertaining those thoughts and actions in my head let alone do to you. . .what you obviously think I deserve'.
This usually should work. . .if not, walk away from. Dont ever loose respect, dignity. Of being who you are. . .an Angel. No one has the right to bring you down to their level and they will need to learn the hard way. . .ALONE xx
That's a tough conversation to have. Where I come from, you don't have it. You pretend the problem doesn't exist and then maybe, hopefully, it will just go away. But it never does.
If this is aimed at who I think it's aimed at then the direct approach might be the only way. Also, it may be a symptom of something a wee bit more serious than character defect. Nahmean?
There is no answer to that question just like there is no answer to who was the first person to look at a cow and say 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
I'm going to assume I'm not the one who's turned dull, although I wonder sometimes.
I know someone in my town who is all of those things and is alienating people she needs left and right. We aren't close friends, so I've decided not to talk to her about it at all.
Well...You've had a lot of good advice and I don't know that I can add anything to all of it....It sounds pretty bad---I must say!
BTW: I get all my Flower Arrangements from the same place and have written about it and him on my blog. His name is Van and his place is called THE CONSERVATORY, and he is on the corner of Franklin and Highland. He is a true Artist!
i divorced him. (just a joke, i like my ex-husband quite a bit.)
ReplyDeleteseriously? i've started with a question when i've had to do similar things - "you seem to have morphed into a very different person. do you realize how much you've changed?"
Oh lord, I've no idea. I've been trying to work it out myself for some time, so if you find out do let me know.
ReplyDeleteSounds ... as if a certain amount of mean-ness is unavoidable.
ReplyDeleteI'd don full armour in any case. And carry some hidden razors.
Could you do it as a song - Along the the lines of the one that goes
ReplyDelete'A you're adorable, B you're so beautiful ... this format might work
I'm only guessing, but I'd say you could do it with just a look hon! :¬)
ReplyDeletexoxoxox
WV = MINES!!
Just tell me through email, my blog or on twitter babe. I can take it. LOL ;-)~
ReplyDeleteDear Savannah,
ReplyDeleteJust say it with a great big smile on your face :-)
Just call me up and tell it to my face. (or ear, as the case may be!)
ReplyDeleteCandygram!
ReplyDeleteAn anonymous note!
ReplyDeleteOr you could just take them to the side and talk, begin by telling them that
1. I'm wondering how things are going with you.
2. I'm concerned that something might be troubling you.
3. Because I've noticed some changes in your usual behavior.
See where the conversation goes...
That's a tough one, Savannah... but I think Eros has the best approach. Good luck, hon. xoxo
ReplyDeleteAt least sleep on it to make sure it's not just a passing fancy. If you feel the same later - what Eros says.
ReplyDeletechazza said: Oh bless you huni. . .My heart goes out to you on this one. We have all been there at one time in our life, whether friend or even a partner.
ReplyDeleteI certainly dont believe you need to be 'cruel to be kind'. Usually there is a rhyme and reason to their change in behaviour.
I have truely believed. . A real friend would not 'tell them what they want to hear'. Its not helping them to see what they havent realised they have blindly become. . . Xx
chazza said:p.s. . .if their behaviour is soley aimed toward you all the time, taking out on you. The direct/shock approach im afraid is the only way.
ReplyDeleteSaying 'sorry but who do you think you are talking and behaving to. . .? I wouldnt dream of entertaining those thoughts and actions in my head let alone do to you. . .what you obviously think I deserve'.
This usually should work. . .if not, walk away from. Dont ever loose respect, dignity. Of being who you are. . .an Angel. No one has the right to bring you down to their level and they will need to learn the hard way. . .ALONE xx
That's a tough conversation to have. Where I come from, you don't have it. You pretend the problem doesn't exist and then maybe, hopefully, it will just go away. But it never does.
ReplyDeleteNo need to, we all know, that's life.
ReplyDeleteIf this is aimed at who I think it's aimed at then the direct approach might be the only way. Also, it may be a symptom of something a wee bit more serious than character defect. Nahmean?
ReplyDeleteThere is no answer to that question just like there is no answer to who was the first person to look at a cow and say 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
ReplyDeleteOh crikey! I'd hide under my duvet until it went away... but I think Mr Swings has the right approach.
ReplyDeleteSx
You could point them to this blog post...
ReplyDeleteJust say: "E@L, you've become... etc,..."
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, saying: "I love you" has worked a few times.
ReplyDeleteEroswings has my vote. What a diplomat.
ReplyDeleteThough 'dull'...that's harsh. Not sure how you make that one sound better.
Good luck with the chat honey.
I'm sorry, and I'll try my best to change.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visitin' my baby hon. I like that. :¬)
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Semaphore?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to assume I'm not the one who's turned dull, although I wonder sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI know someone in my town who is all of those things and is alienating people she needs left and right. We aren't close friends, so I've decided not to talk to her about it at all.
I dunno, but when you figure it out, could you tell my crazy-ass dad? I'm ready to do it without the "not being mean" part.
ReplyDeleteAnd my sympathies, that task is never easy.
Well...You've had a lot of good advice and I don't know that I can add anything to all of it....It sounds pretty bad---I must say!
ReplyDeleteBTW: I get all my Flower Arrangements from the same place and have written about it and him on my blog. His name is Van and his place is called THE CONSERVATORY, and he is on the corner of Franklin and Highland. He is a true Artist!
I would guess it depended on the person...and if you can get past that "southern gal nice" gene. :)
ReplyDeleteI have a bad habit of silence...as in nothing good to say, say nothing.
Heaven help us southern gals if we ever break that rule...that's a lot of pent up stuff to let out all at once. :)