brought to you by the letters, H and M!

i imagine right now you're feeling like alice tumbling down the rabbit hole

gentility
brutishness/informality
and when did it all go to hell in a handbasket?

this internal conversation started years ago and just yesterday.

let me backup for a moment to put this in some sort of order.

i'm a member of an alumnae association on facebook.  one of the women posted a photo from her graduation in 1966. lovely pic, of course, her smiling face, her proud daddy next to her, but what started my internal dialogue (it was really vocal once she got started. MITM) was the fact that every man and boy in the background had either a suit or a sports coat and slacks on! everyone was dressed up. no jeans, no casual clothes, no flip flops or fanny packs in sight and this was southern california in june! appropriate dress befitting the occasion was the norm.

ok, now, let's look at the past weekend. as part of the father's day festivities around here, the weekend was spent following the u.s. open and all things related to golf. we knew the place where the open was being held because we used to live in san francisco. of course, we never set foot inside because we weren't members, didn't know any members and at the time, didn't even play golf but even then, we knew what appropriate behavior on a golf course was. it used to be a joke when the krewe  were younger that doing the right thing in public merited a soft golf clap on the sly. what happened during the course of the open was anything but that. it was boorish and rowdy, hooting and hollering after a swing, as if, i was watching a computer game of golf! seriously, what sort of a bumpkin yells out "in the hole" after a tee shot on a par 5, 670 yd hole?

now, before all y'all start talkin' about what sort of elitist hole i've fallen into or what stuck-up bug crawled up mah butt, i want to be be really clear about what i'm talking about. it isn't the externals, like suits v. jeans or golf claps v. hootin' & hollerin at a golf match. i'm talking about the decline of civility. the decline of the concept that "just because you can do a thing, doesn't mean you should.

(minor, but a real case in point digression, just saw a tv personality visiting an embassy in washington, d.c. and what was he wearing? tennis shoes with his suit. now, pardon me for being a stick in the mud, but i'm sure someone advised him on proper attire, because his normal dress is casual and perfect for the sort of show he hosts, but sweet mary sunshine, dude, your sarcastic wit and delivery would have been even more ironic if you'd been properly attired.)

i think i should interject something right now about clothing. i'm talking about wearing clothes that are appropriate to the occasion here, not even remotely suggesting a return to high necks, full length skirts or three piece suits (on men) for every day wear. let us be perfectly clear, we live in the 21st century and clothes have been developed for every possible situation and locale, i'm talking about not wearing your half of nothin' sundress to the city council meeting or sister hazel's funeral. (and young men, please, please, PLEASE wear a belt!) 

what happened to standards, ladies and gentleman? when i was in school part of the reason for wearing a uniform was for "equality." what i took from it was discipline and focus on purpose. the regard for our uniform was a mark of respect for our school, but more importantly, for ourselves. i was there to learn, not to style. now, big leap forward because i'm afraid i'm starting to sound really priggish, but that is so not my intent. (ok, i wore a tie to school every day for 4 years and that tie had to be a certain length -3rd button of my blouse-no fancy knots, half windsor was just fine, thank you very much and seeing the current crop of girls wearing loose, messy ties made me faint so, there is a bit of residual pique.) anyway, back to the topic, i see this erosion of gentility as emblematic of a general decline in behavior on all levels.

we applaud stupidity.

mediocrity is not only accepted, but expected.

boorishness is tolerated and encouraged! witness the use of "shut up" as an expression of incredulity! yes, it is generally used by young people, but it came from an adult comedian, is part of his on-going act and i'm hearing it said by more and more people who really should know better. (i know, right? i am sounding more and more like my mama every day.)

what is it?
is it me?

am i just so out of step with humanity these days that i'm looking for something that no longer exists in the general population?why do we no longer practice good manners? what's happened to propriety? when did we become comfortable with crudeness, coarseness and commonness?

i am at a loss, sugarpies. what do all y'all think?

sunday, june 17th

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

that's it, the direct approach for all the dads out there. thanks for doing what you do, every day, all day, even when you're tired and still managing to smile. i look at the MITM and  remember the joy in his face when he'd come home from a long trip and saw the coconut krewe for the first time or after a hard day dealing with (redacted for national security reasons) and sitting down at the dinner table just listening to how their day was. they have their own stories about their daddy, but i know this to be true, they still call and say "thanks, dad!"

xoxoxo

we miss frank zappa

who knew, right?

OK, the coconut krewe grew up with this stuff, so they aren't surprised, but it might be new to some of you. or at least, what all y'all know about us.

that's right, the MITM and i have been stuck inside because it's been raining like the end is near and we're gonna float away out into the atlantic via the intra-coastal waterways. anyway, it all started with the MITM looking for a jazz cover of sally's song and as is the way with all things youtube...4 hours later, a mini blog post was developed.

by the by, watch this space because the MITM is going to do a solo jazz cover of sally's song.


(yeah, that's right, i didn't post a link! now YOU have to fall into the vortex of all things youtube looking for sally's song)

a birthday, but no party

today miss daisy would have been 90.

one of the things present in my mind today is that i said goodbye because i knew it was the end.

i had shared many other june 11ths with her just knowing they'd go on forever.

we'd danced like crazy women,
raised glasses in toasts to friends near and far, here and gone
and new friends to come because we knew they would.

even though i'd buried my own mama many years ago, it seemed then as if miss daisy would always be around...

and then september came and she was gone.

the other thing?

we don't always know when the last goodbye will be said,

so,

be thoughtful,
be just,
be kind,
and
be loving.

sonny rollins added

and be cool.

MITM - The Day After

My Bday went as planned - good food, good wine, good vibes.  And we will not eat a thing for at least a week!

Thanks to everyone for all the great birthday greetings.

Our main bday meal was an excellent stuffed turkey roll, sweet potato casserole and gravy.  This was followed by a lip-smakcing kickass dessert - Blueberry Cobbler!  Wines on hand for the day - Consentino Cab Franc (Napa), and Morgan Pinot Noir (Santa Lucia Highlands).

I'll sample the cigars when I fully recover from my hedonistic overload.  The sheer nerve of an old codger like me eating, drinking and behaving like this!  Wouldn't have it any other way.

it's his BIRTHDAY!

 it's june 5th and today is the MITM's 63rd birthday! i mention the year only because he LOVES telling his age. he always forgets his birthday, in fact, most of the time he isn't even home, but this year it was a lot easier to remember BECAUSE today also marks the transit of venus! (google it if you haven't already read all about it, bought your special glasses and bookmarked the nasa site), but enough about that we have birthday celebrating to do!

we're fixing sausage and mushroom stuffed boneless rolled turkey breast and a sweet potato casserole. for dessert, he's asked for a blueberry cobbler. i'll try and take some photos and post them later. i hope all y'all will raise a glass and celebrate his day with us!




(you know, he really is much, much, MUCH older than me!)

Happy Birthday to the Man In The Moon!