sooooooo, the mood has lifted here on the plantation. two things happened (well, more did, but i'm only gonna tell all y'all about 2 of them) it seems that miss daisy had the blues because miss lulu had been hospitalized with shortness of breath and assorted maladies. the only reason she found out was because she called and miss lulu's daughter answered. *sigh* anyway, miss lulu is fine and back home, but miss daisy started thinking about the fact that of their new orleans clique there are just 3 of them left...it didn't help that she overheard the MITM and i talking about updating our wills...y'all see where this is going, right? yep, miss-ain't-rose-kennedy-filthy-rich-daisy started sighing and passive- aggressively talking about her arrangements and would things be done the right way? long story short (i know, too late) she's seeing our lawyer today and all will be well in miss daisy world.
the other thing that happened is ninabit from brooklyn is here! we're talking #1 granddaughter (miss daisy has 9 grandchildren, 6 boys and 3 girls). if y'all remember, supernana was here not too long ago, so having the girls visit so close together is perfect for her! things are good now and i'm back crackin jokes and making miss daisy laugh. (plus, i make the best gin & tonic evah!)
all ya'll were so wonderful to leave suggestions, support and all around sweet love that i thought i'd post all of your comments!
I would and do make the jokes. You just have to sometimes. My 90 year old grandma told my brother the other day she was an orphan because my mom was out of town and didn't visit and I didn't call all week and check in on her. You have to laugh I think. Old stuff is so unfunny otherwise.
It very much depends on the person, Sav, when my father-in-law was dying, he knew he was (cancer), we made all number of jokes because he was that sort. We also just let him talk and talk and talk when he needed to. With my mother there were jokes too but much more subtle, she was in denial or didn't want to worry us, not sure which. Again the thing seemed to be to let her talk and talk and talk. It seems that when people are just allowed to say what's on their mind it helps them deal with it. Miss Daisy is trying to make sense of what seems to be happening to her now, if she knows you as a joker and likes you, the jokes will help.
Jimmy is so right, too; can you find out if there is anything she has always wanted to achieve and then help her achieve it now, so she can die, when she does, feeling that sense of achievement and satisfaction? There must be nothing worse that lying on your death-bed thinking, 'what have I done with my life?' Let her know what she has done too.
I agree with Eryl. And I often find myself biting down on a flippant comment... but sometimes they do help to lighten the mood. You have to feel the vibes. Sx
I think concentrating the topic to the present is the best route. What someone might think is funny today can change tomorrow. It's really the QUALITY of life that is the most important. In reality each day that passes gets death one day closer. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow. Best to enjoy the todays. I wish I had a better answer.
As usual Eryl is bang on the money. I'm not about to pop my clogs just yet but would appreciate time with my loved ones to talk and reminisce and laugh as the time gets closer. When in doubt a hug suffices. And I'd like permission just once to give advice and moralise and tell them what they orter do.
My Mother has been warning us of her imminent death for the past 40 years! And she wonders why we don't take her seriously now! She's 'dying' on Friday, partying on Saturday. So yes, we joke. I think she likes it that way. Fucks with yer head tho'!!
Savannah, just letting the MITM talk to her and then you being there for both him and her, if they each need a hug or just need to talk, is about the best you can do. If she lightens up in a day or two, then perhaps you can joke a bit.
I think you just have to play the situation by ear and get a feel for her mood.
It's stressful, though, I know. Have a nice glass of wine and chill. See what happens.
When you get to that point where death seems imminent (twice this hunting trip for me!) I think I'll tell you jokes up until I pull the plug. The last joke will be one of those crazy long ones that lead up to... flatline. Someone had to be an asshole about all of this.
If you end up being none the wiser after all this advice, I'd say go with a toss of the coin - heads = yes, tails = no. In the meantime, please email me the jokes. Ixox
Go for a couple of soft ones, and see how she responds. If positive, keep upping the crassness until she stops laughing. Then you know you've crossed the line and all the rest can be just under :)
again, thanks, m'darlings, it was tense when i posted and all y'all made me smile through the tears and my own fears, so i have to say again, i love you, guys!
Here’s to the mice that scare the lions, Creeping into their cages. Here’s to the fairy mice that bite The elephants fat and wise: Hidden in the hay-pile while the elephant thunder rages. Here’s to the scurrying, timid mice Through whom the proud cause dies. Here’s to the seeming accident When all is planned and working, All the flywheels turning, Not a vassal shirking. Here’s to the hidden tunneling thing That brings the mountain’s groans. Here’s to the midnight scamps that gnaw, Gnawing away the thrones.
the MITM is talking to her about enjoying the life she has now and not worrying about what ifs, about what's going to happen when she dies. i'm staying out of the discussion because
1. this is not the time to make a joke.
2. he needs to deal with this issue.
3. this is not the time to make a joke, at least, not by me!
i have a thousand jokes i could make, ok, maybe, 1 or 2, but in the spirit of family harmony, i shall refrain.
i looked at the blog just now after reading a comment from mago and found monday's post gone!
i think at some point yesterday, i had thought about updating it and didn't finish or rather saved it without changing it, instead of hitting publish. *sigh* anyway, i'll answer yesterday's comments later when i'm back home.
take the test while i'm busy doing grown-up stuff with the accountants and leave your results in the comments...please.
when i get back, i'll post mine!
UPDATE: BACK FROM THE accountant's office. *sigh*
here's my score:
66 points is in the 51 through 80 precent You are a dedicated weblogger. You post frequently because you enjoy weblogging a lot, yet you still manage to have a social life. You're the best kind of weblogger. Way to go!
the last couple of days have been madcrazyactionpacked and maybe, fruitful.
today, all i can do is think about everything that still needs doing.
and now to the lawyers.
and tomorrow, the accountants.
update:
so that happened. no worries, darlings (ponita, you are a dear!), just a few little legal issues with the lawyers that had to be handled. but, it's done and we'll finish what we need to do next week. now, for the rest of the day, the MITM has to concern himself with what's for supper tonight!
i have to take a meeting.
(i love saying that, it's such a pretentious bit of business, it makes me laugh!.)
back later because i can! ;)
update: ok, sooooo, i'm back.
while i was out, miss daisy decided that she, too, needs a fountain pen and nothing would do, but for the MITM to find his fancy pen and all of mine and my pen catalogues, so that she might choose one for purchase. now, those of you who've heard me go on about my obsession with all things associated with writing instruments know how particular i am about PEOPLE HANDLING, MUCH LESS, WRITING WITH MY PENS! yes, after i gently snatched my pens out of her hands and carefully inspected them (and cleaned the froth from my lips), i politely suggested that she visit the local stationers and try some of the pens THERE, as mine were NOT demonstration models! anyway, there it is, i am a snappish shrew of a woman when it comes to my pens! BUT, let it be known, the MITM DID NOT uncap HIS mont blanc diplomat for her to practice her cursive signature!
he is soooooo cooking supper tonight!
hey lookitheah!
so, go and meet the lovely maggie, fine bride of our friend, kim!
UPDATE: i am sooooo imbibing now...something called a cream soda...whiskey & tonic water...sweetdarlins, it (ok, they, yeah, i;ve had more than 1) is heavenly
steamed grouper stuffed with parsley, green onions, garlic and lemon. ok, but the liquid he uses for steaming is incredible! the MITM sautés shallots and garlic in butter and olive oil in the bottom of the fish steamer, then adds savignion blanc and then places the stuffed grouper on the rack and gently places it in its glorious bath! heaven, my darlings, absolute heaven! sides were my contribution, baby red potatoes and steamed asparagus - a dollop of butter and a bit of sour cream on the potatoes...(salt & pepper to taste, of course)
we stopped to get a fresh fish to steam tomorrow for supper and guess what...exactly, fresh soft shell crabs. the MITM bpught 6 along with a gorgeous grouper to steam tommorow, but that's another post. today it was all about louisanna style soft shell po' boys! french bread heated and sliced open, fully dressed (shredded iceberg lettuce, sliced tomatoes, sliced dill pickles, mayonaise and tabasco to taste), served with a side of southern style potato salad. the MITM documented the progress and here we go.
manuel, the dear waiter has posted a very timely piece/comment from his pal, toast. it's all about iphone pictures and how nefarious types can and we know, will find out y'alls personal information. go over and read it! especially people who use their iphones as cameras and then post those same pictures on their blog....
How to Read a Poem: Beginner's Manual by Pamela Spiro Wagner
First, forget everything you have learned, that poetry is difficult, that it cannot be appreciated by the likes of you, with your high school equivalency diploma, your steel-tipped boots, or your white-collar misunderstandings.
Do not assume meanings hidden from you: the best poems mean what they say and say it.
To read poetry requires only courage enough to leap from the edge and trust.
Treat a poem like dirt, humus rich and heavy from the garden. Later it will become the fat tomatoes and golden squash piled high upon your kitchen table.
Poetry demands surrender, language saying what is true, doing holy things to the ordinary.
Read just one poem a day. Someday a book of poems may open in your hands like a daffodil offering its cup to the sun.
When you can name five poets without including Bob Dylan, when you exceed your quota and don't even notice, close this manual.
Congratulations. You can now read poetry.
i'm still stuck in grownup work land. *sigh* i'll be back to normal soon.
i wish today was pretending to work, instead of really, really working.
i might be back.
back for a quick uodate
soooooo, sometimes, i really do work. i have a real job. just because i work FOR the MITM, doesn't mean i get to skate when it comes to work. today was one of those days. (have i told all y'all how much i HATE excel?) (if i haven't...I DO, WITH A PASSION UNKNOWN TO HUMANITY.) that's what we were working on today. *sigh* my head actually HURTS when i have to deal with numbers/formulas/math. anyway, the best part of all of this is that i get to be the person who asks questions about line items. BUT, i do have to try and remember what F16 times F36 plus F49 means and what those columns meant/represent. BUT, when it's done...it's done. and i am on to something else.
it was supper. rolled chicken breasts stuffed with pesto and baked. steamed yellow squash and penne.
~~~~~~~~ update: the delightful mmedeF has given me a very lovely award! all will be revealed tomorrow, but i want to thank her today! i am deeply moved by her gesture and esteem!
i mean, nothing that makes any sense. just rambling stuff, y'all know how i do tend to ramble on (and i love me some parenthetical statements) and go off on tangents about some other shiny object that catches my fancy...but, that does become something, doesn't it? (wasn't that the premise of the seinfeld show?, a show about nothing?) today we're kinda/sorta trying to plan out how we take care of all the loose ends from the past week that we ignored while supernana was in town! (i miss her!) (but i don't miss the bath towels on the door or the bed.)
~~~~~ so i lied... i'm posting because i just heard the funniest thing...
miss daisy is in the living room watching the ellen degeneres show pink is singing one of her latest tunes and dancing around the stage and miss daisy just said, "i don't know who this is, but she has a lovely voice and she's so energetic!" but my favorite was "what a healthy child!"
supernana and i went downtown and stopped by the mall. y'all know i hate shopping, but this was FUN!
update...very early in the damndarkmorning aka 0351
supernana is HERE! ok, she's been here since 1205 and we've been catching up ever since then.... i think it's time to go to bed, since i do have to be at the airport at 1030 to pick up the MITM!
it's always good when everyone comes home!
~~~~~~~~ MASSIVE UPDATE ON THE 50,000 VISITOR!!!!!
that visitor was MARK! he was the benchmark visitor! how cool is that? a regular reader (who really should have a blog, btw!). thanks, sugar! xoxo
~~~~~~~~~~~~ family stuff... we dropped into our familiar routine with ease! the MITM made his famous omelettes, kirs, freshly brewed coffee and conversation! right now, i'm here, missy daisy is reading the paper, supernana is talking to mr. moose and the MITM is outside smoking a cigar...the only thing that could be better would be having the rest of the coconut krewe heah!
currently, the number (since i joined sitemeter) is: 49,974.
who will be the 50,000th visitor????
i think i should have a prize at the ready! some token of my esteem for the reader who takes us there!
UPDATE: visitor number 50,000 was from right here in the usa, somewhere in the central time zone and used aol. that's it, no comment was left or even hardly a visit of any length. *sigh* so, what does that that say? milestones are arbitrary and are only of interest to the person who set them. but, i'm being gauche. thank you, kind reader for being the 50,000 person to drop by! i do hope y'all will come back and sit a spell next time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~
dearest dive posted some lovely photos of his garden the other day. in the course of commenting, a difference in pronunciation sprang up (pun very much intended, but groans are an accepted response) between english english and colonial english. (if y'all read dive, y'all get that joke and if ya haven't, then y'all really must carry yaself right on over there!) anyway, it all serves to remind me that not only do we have regional differences with regard to our common language right here in the states, but now, with this larger conversation around the globe it's really important to ask, politely of course, for an explanation of colloquial expressions. i hate being emily litella.
~~~~~~~~~ a lovely sound for friday is over at mapstew's place! if you haven't visited him yet, y'all need to now!
there will be more today, m'loverlies...i'm in countdown mode again! the MITM is off on a business trip returning on sunday and supernana aka babygirl aka #4 arrives tomorrow! yeah, the house is clean, but there are still things that need doing and all y'all are going to keep me company!
~~~~~~~~~~~~ did i mention that i dropped the MITM at the airport veryveryvery early in the damndarkmorning? yep, this time the flight really WAS at 0600! which meant up at 0300 and out of the house by 0430 for a 0500 check-in time. i think i was on automatic pilot on the way home. so, if by some chance i left a strange comment on anyone's blog, forgive me, i was sleep posting.
miss daisy is up and about as i type this, off-tune humming *sigh* it seems in time with the coffeemaker. her own little song of morning cheer *sigh* where the hell are the birds when you need them? but i digress, morning rituals were on my mind and how when your internal schedule is thrown off how it affects you. i've been up, showered, dresed, had coffee and driven over an hour there and back. even though i went back to sleep for a few hours after i came home, i'm already starting to feel as if i pulled an all nighter...
what about you? what's your morning routine? is it very different on the weekend?
My mom does this dying thing with me all the time.
I usually just make a joke because she's been doing this dying thing for the last 5 years or so.
I would and do make the jokes. You just have to sometimes. My 90 year old grandma told my brother the other day she was an orphan because my mom was out of town and didn't visit and I didn't call all week and check in on her. You have to laugh I think. Old stuff is so unfunny otherwise.
Hang in there Savannah. xo
Death and dying is what motivates us to live!
Open another bottle, pour me one.. we'll be maudlin together.
It very much depends on the person, Sav, when my father-in-law was dying, he knew he was (cancer), we made all number of jokes because he was that sort. We also just let him talk and talk and talk when he needed to. With my mother there were jokes too but much more subtle, she was in denial or didn't want to worry us, not sure which. Again the thing seemed to be to let her talk and talk and talk. It seems that when people are just allowed to say what's on their mind it helps them deal with it. Miss Daisy is trying to make sense of what seems to be happening to her now, if she knows you as a joker and likes you, the jokes will help.
Jimmy is so right, too; can you find out if there is anything she has always wanted to achieve and then help her achieve it now, so she can die, when she does, feeling that sense of achievement and satisfaction? There must be nothing worse that lying on your death-bed thinking, 'what have I done with my life?' Let her know what she has done too.
I agree with Eryl. And I often find myself biting down on a flippant comment... but sometimes they do help to lighten the mood. You have to feel the vibes.
Sx
I think concentrating the topic to the present is the best route. What someone might think is funny today can change tomorrow. It's really the QUALITY of life that is the most important. In reality each day that passes gets death one day closer. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow. Best to enjoy the todays. I wish I had a better answer.
Whatever you say, it probably won't be right. Joke about it when she's moved past this mood and it may not seem so raw. I'd hide.
As usual Eryl is bang on the money. I'm not about to pop my clogs just yet but would appreciate time with my loved ones to talk and reminisce and laugh as the time gets closer. When in doubt a hug suffices.
And I'd like permission just once to give advice and moralise and tell them what they orter do.
My Mother has been warning us of her imminent death for the past 40 years! And she wonders why we don't take her seriously now! She's 'dying' on Friday, partying on Saturday. So yes, we joke. I think she likes it that way. Fucks with yer head tho'!!
I'd say nothing, but that's me. I get all squiggledy inside from such conversations.
I'd make a joke.
Because if she lives, it's funny for her: if she dies, it's funny for us! Win-win!
Savannah, just letting the MITM talk to her and then you being there for both him and her, if they each need a hug or just need to talk, is about the best you can do. If she lightens up in a day or two, then perhaps you can joke a bit.
I think you just have to play the situation by ear and get a feel for her mood.
It's stressful, though, I know. Have a nice glass of wine and chill. See what happens.
When you get to that point where death seems imminent (twice this hunting trip for me!) I think I'll tell you jokes up until I pull the plug. The last joke will be one of those crazy long ones that lead up to... flatline. Someone had to be an asshole about all of this.
If you end up being none the wiser after all this advice, I'd say go with a toss of the coin - heads = yes, tails = no.
In the meantime, please email me the jokes.
Ixox
Go for a couple of soft ones, and see how she responds. If positive, keep upping the crassness until she stops laughing. Then you know you've crossed the line and all the rest can be just under :)
Guess I'd hide until her mood lifts. Maybe I'd try to end the phase of depression with a joke when I couldn't take it no more. But that's just me.