seven days since last she wrote...

your savannah has been out and about! reveling in the holiday spirit (and spirits) in ridiculously warm weather by night...and by day, has been the dutiful domestic goddess preparing for the return of the pirate king and the onslaught of her own-yes-i-gave-birth-to-them mongol hordes and their respective spouses, friends and assorted crews...

and the party hasn't even started yet!!

so merry christmas, happy hanukkah, happy kawanzaa, winter solstice cheer, seasons greetings....enjoy!

our time on this earth is so short.


ps. raise a glass on 31 dec...it's my birthday....and happy new year *w*

almost midnight in the garden...

..minus the evil.

there is a hymn i vaguely remember (all those years of catholic school*sigh*)...the lyric that stayed: ..."may goodness follow you always, until the end of your days..." or something like that...but that's how today was...goodness wrapped her arms around me and i reveled in the joy of just being alive. yes, there was horrendous traffic..big deal...it moved eventually...yeah, there were grumpy, pissed off christmas shoppers in the mall, but it was ok...i could smile, surprise some poor dear by saying, "please, you go first, i'm in no rush..." and watch her face move from tense to shock to a smile...in an instant...small mercies we can give to each other....

the last few days, i've struggled with personal issues, wondered about how to proceed, the what if scenarios, those internal conversations...this ongoing process of living in the 21st century with all of its complications and demands still is just a series of choices...some simple (do i wear the black or the grey) and some profound/complicated/layered (can i say yes? should i ask? sign here), but no matter what, we make a choice....and i did...to be in the moment, to not over think a situation(s) and to be "mad, bad and dangerous to know."

...and i know how to pack a suitcase!

blank

i went back to my "dead tree blog" (thank you, indiana for that term)...and posting a few comments on other sites. writing has always been a solitary outlet for me and that was fine. aside from "work related " writing, i've been the only one who's ever read my work...ok, some poems have been shared, there were a few joint projects, but on the whole, it's been just for me. this public, however limited, record is too exposed. or maybe, i'm too sensitive about the unknown... or maybe...

it's a mystery

about last night...

(started on sunday around noon...and then nfl sunday started...)

perfect timing...almost an hour late which meant everyone was already tipsy and talkative.

the growing mystery....did she order a hit on her husband?

last year around this time...in a galaxy not far away (wrong movie) i mean, there's a posh, old money area outside of the historic district where this couple bought a house...quiet street...solid traditional "i don't flaunt my wealth, it's a given" environment (you get the picture every city has an area like this). "socialite" husband, as the local rag described him, pulls his benz into the drive and according to the wife, he was surrounded by thugs and shot...car, money, watch, everything of material value still there...but he was dead. immediate reaction when the story broke...whoa, something is not right...what should/could have been a robbery/carjacking should not have resulted in a death..a murder. flash forward to present day, local rag does another story about the murder...nothing new, but questions are finally being asked about who benefited from his death, why so many conflicting stories/explanations from the wife...and why didn't anyone hear the screeching tires she said brought her outside?

damn, i am the only one who watches "law & order"

it's too sad and common.

hate your spouse? get a divorce, don't do time for murder...leave him/her and live well.

isn't that the best revenge?

saturday and i'm awake too early

this might be my first all day long entry...

so, it's almost 8am and i've been awake since 6...why, you might ask? technology...a buzz on IM woke me...it was on and i responded...after a short exchange that was done..but since i'm here, why not check mail, read the papers online, visit a few other daily read blogs...wow, found a new one...you know the drill.."shiny objects* ...and here it is 8am...but i will not go downstairs and make coffee..that would be a REAL commitment to being awake!

my bed is calling me...

i'll be back

11:06am

still in jammies, BUT i have had coffee... found an invitation to a party tonight i'd forgotten about, which probably gives an indication of my level of anticipation when i received it*yawn*....BUT i'm going anyway because there is a mystery building in my little town...and i've been in a poirot/sherlock holmes/nero wolfe dvd mode....so i am prime for action.

the game is afoot!

4:05pm

wow...where did the day go? and i'm still in MY JAMMIES!!!!

next post is after the party with details....if i'm still lucid...

and frankly, rhett, i don't give a damn!

my birthday is 23 days away... husband, children are all coming home, major parties are being planned (by me) and i am, once again, surprised by my age...the number isn't important, it just sounds so OLD! but, it isn't my mother's **, that's for sure! i kayak, travel alone, stay out all night and party with the best of them, don't know how to knit, still can turn a head and even better...none of it matters.... i revel in my grey "skunk" streak over my right temple, i wear the clothes i like, not what some designer says is correct, i speak my mind... and i still believe, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, in the goodness of humanity.

i'm part of that generation that was going to live hard and die young...or so we said...

I'm part of that generation that was going to change the world...and we did, but not the way many of us had thought...

i'm part of that generation that said i will raise my children to be critical thinkers, good of heart and generous of spirit...

and i did.


and i ain't dead yet...there's still a lot of play left in this aging southern california hippie/georgia dixie chick!

keep on truckin, momma

so that happened...

this has been one of those days that started far too early! all because yesterday ended far too late and with far more drama then this ole gal can handle! (ok, wants to handle)...mean spirited words that wouldn't be taken back/explained/apologized for....a degeneration into semantic games and distortions...and in the end...just that....

goodbye.


ok, so now, am i better for having gone through this? of course, i'm alive, learned a lesson again about being too trusting and i have something to write about....i am too polite! somewhere along the line i have forgotten how to ignore, how to use the "cutting glance" to dismiss those who do not deserve my attention, to say, "enough"... self preservation of mind and spirit (because, lord knows, i will cut and run from physical danger..i ain't a fool) must be safeguarded from sad, miserable people who seek only to bring one down to their sorry state. sometimes savannah (me) is far too kindhearted for her own good! ameloriation can be impossible, tolerance unallowable and forgiveness beyond ones ability.

and that's ok...as the song goes, "you have to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em..."

so why do i still feel saddened for the experience?

you can't always get what you want, but sometimes...you get what you need

on a good day, there are 154,00 residents of this town...the MSA pushes that number up to 254,000, but that's 3 counties and really is a figure only used by economic developers/or the chamber of commerce...but i digress...5 colleges/universities...museums..thriving arts community...2 military bases and the 4th busiest port on the eastern seaboard...not too shabby for a little town in the south...

all of that aside, this town lives on gossip, especially, the 2.5 square miles of the historic district where i live. i was called for jury duty last year and good citizen that i am, i made no excuse, i showed up..and was excused during the process..why, you might say? the only person i didn't know was the defendant...what are the chances of that happening in los angeles, nyc or any other major city in the usa? but then, what can you expect from a town where houses are referred to by the name of the original owner? so, what does this have to do with gossip? small pond mentality, more women than men, the humidity? i haven't a clue, but i do know, sometimes the rumor mill can give a person a far more exciting life than reality bestowes. (some backstory, i drift in and out of town on an irregular basis without much fanfare.) so it was rather amusing to find out that i'd moved to morocco and i hadn't even left town! ok, i had moved from one end of the district to the other, but it isn't exactly a foreign country.

it's a pirate town. the first lines of "treasure island" were penned here...characters abound...after "hey" which is southern for hello, the first question is "what would you like to drink" water, coffee and tea are not considered drinks. so, the scene is set for massive amounts of material, real or imagined, for social currency set in southern hospitality and gentility...with only one caveat...if you see me, that means i see you, so neither of us will mention names..just provide details over drinks when the conversation starts to ebb and embelish the hell out of the story, ya heah? because i most certainly will...

i love this place.

revelations & commentary

this town is too small to admit you've started a blog, unless you're a college student.

a casual remark set off a torrent of shrieks, howls and otherwise unlady-like guffaws from some female friends...first question after they were able to compose themselves: "will i be in it?" followed by, "oh mah gawd, dahlin...yew will change names, right?" so, of course, i said i wasn't even going to speak about any of them, just random musings on life, liberty and the pursuit of justice *ok, maybe not that exact phrase* now, normally, one would think that laughter, a few more jokes would occur and the topic would change...but nooooo, that would be too much like right! my dearest friends turned on me, eyebrows arched and lips pursed and to a woman, they said:

"AND WHY THE HELL NOT?"

men are so much easier to talk to.


(5:15PM probable unneeded clarification: i am NOT a college student.)

movies and other things

i pitched a concept over drinks yesterday: FIVE (5) all-time-everyone-must-see movies...not your favorite 5, but movies that have changed the medium. sounds easy, right? after "citizen kane" (think of the opening scene) we were all stymied...none of us are in the film industry or were film majors (of course, that wasn't even offered when i was in college...but i digress) anyway...just people who love the movies/flicks..the show. we quote movies all the time, use them as punctuation marks in conversations and even stranger at times...use them as shorthand to capture a moment/feeling/person..think "the player" which was a great read and at that time in my life like too many people i knew (another reason to leave l.a) the conversation drifted (as i tend to do, but that's another story) to other aspects of film..what makes a movie good? after much discussion far too disjointed to remember now, the bottomline: the story, everything else enhances...so, what's next?

books...bought pynchon's latest, it's still sitting on the dining room table daring me to start, "reading like a writer" by francine prose, "isaac's storm" and "thunderstruck" by eric larson (he also wrote "the devil in the white city"), "the children of men" by p.d.james and "absurdistan" by gary shteyngart. barnes and noble is my friend, but i do miss the small independent bookstore that used to be here and for that fact, in so many cities. they've been gobbled up or forced out by mega box stores. over simplification of the situation, i know, i understand the economics of the marketplace, but it does bring to mind a larger question about growth and/or change. so what to do? there is another independent here, so next purchases will be from her, even though i won't get a members 10 - 15% discount like at b&n (my rationale for so many books at one time), but i will be shopping local and doing my small part for stand alone, small business.

and then there's music...

"Shut up, I'm having a rhetorical conversation."

movie?

an ongoing conversation with myself and whoever stumbles by...be amusing or interesting...the gentleman said. i must admit, it was great to see a comment...well, 2 actually..so yes, i am already hooked...and it does seem fair to put something of myself out here since i've been so quick to comment on other sites *cough, e@l, cough* so, there it is or here it is..the ramblings of one woman living in the sovereign state of chatham, the land of peaches and cream, jim beam & coke, the cutting glance, otherwise known as savannah, georgia.
let the party begin!

*ack*

i started the previous post on 28nov and just posted it today...that is sad. i think my blogging career is over already...how do ya'll do this every single day?

you have to start somewhere

i wanted to share a story...

that's how it started and being the techno doofus that i am, this is as far as i've gotten. now, i'm asking myself: why?