I was sitting in super nana's car while she put the Home Goods shopping cart back in the stall (WTF are those things called, anyone know?) when a very large young man started pushing the car next to us as if to push it over. He was very visibly distraught and pounding on the car to set the alarm off. His actions surprised me, but at first, I almost ignored him. Then, a small slender older woman appeared and turned the alarm off and continued to do the same each time he set it off. When super nana got in the car, she realized that something more was happening and opened her door to ask if the woman was OK or did she need some help. Now not only were we concerned, but other women stopped to offer help. The young man, I think he couldn't have been older than 18, was becoming vocally belligerent, so my daughter asked if the woman wanted her to call the police which she said she did. By now we learned he was her grandson, on the autism spectrum and off his meds. This is where the story takes a turn...
I was sitting in the passenger seat when all of a sudden he made a move toward his grandmother. To be clear, not only was he 3 times her size and weight, he was visibly angry, loud, and threatening. My daughter was already speaking with the police and explaining what was happening, but I opened my door, jumped out, and yelled for him to back off. His response was to call me, a "shank ass old whore" and to fuck off. Well, at that point you can guess my response which, of course, was, "Naw, you fuck off!"( I know what a magnificent and totally intelligent adult answer.) I'm not a small delicate woman, but he could have decked me with a punch, but I think because I didn't cower or seem to be afraid of him all he could do at that point was call me a "fat old bitch" I responded with "Is that the best you can do, son?"
Now we had a few women standing with his Grandmother 2 car widths away from him, so he took out his phone and started recording. By now at least 10 minutes had passed from the time my daughter dialed 911. Fortunately, my daughter had told the operator that the kid was unarmed and having some sort of mental issue, so they dispatched a single motorcycle cop and not a police car with sirens blazing to deal with the situation. So, we left...
As we drove away, super nana asked WTF did I think I was going to do if the guy had tried to hit me? She also told me that she had told the 911 operator that now there were 2 Grandmothers in possible danger because her mother had gotten out of the car! I can honestly say I don't know what I was thinking, but I knew I could not sit there as he towered over his Grandmother! Somehow, I was strong and fearless. All I can say is I am glad he backed down.
It wasn't until a little later that I began to shake and realize how insane my actions were. But, sometimes, isn't that what we have to do? We have to practice active bystander intervention. We have to step in when something is there is a potential for harassment or violence. But, we also have to do this safely, not only for ourselves but for those around us.
I think I did the right thing.
