when the planets align or things that make you say...

a question was put to me, actually 2, about why did i start blogging. the easy answer was because i had fun posting on other blogs (the first one i ever read, indy, and e@l and someone *cough, e@l, cough* joking said...start yer own blog, and i thought "why not?" the idea at the time was have fun, be entertaining and also be entertained. in fact, those were the directives! since wednesday, i have been thinking, no cogitating, which to my mind evokes the actual process better of the serious contemplation i've been giving to this matter (we're talking outloud conversations with myself, grimaces over posts i've made, generally serious internal and external manifestations of a woman on the verge, ok, a bit overstated, but you're getting the drift...(as an aside, anyone who knows me knows that i really do talk this way...off on tangents, but always returning to the topic/subject...eventually which is why i live in the south, but that's another story...

anyway,

so why do this? i've always kept some sort of "dead tree blog" (thanks again for that phrase, indy) over the years, but never with daily entries, more an anecdotal file of thoughts, drawings, poems...a kind of catch-all for impressions, ideas, slips of paper which, by the by, is why a notebook with a band around it (moleskin has become my favorite thanks to mr. moose) is ideal, but, my journals were only for me! shortly after i started this blog there was some conversation about do i continue? was it far too public? was it enough to change names or not name when relating events...could i hide in plain sight? well, yeah, there was a tiny bit of concern and funny thing, all of this was discussed early on when i started blogging, but i digress...so, back to the why...i'm not a writer, i have no aspirations to a literary career, i write because i need the outlet, i enjoy the interaction with those who drop in and comment, there is the sheer joy of finding people who "know what you're talking about" ... blogging has been like meeting one person and getting invited to a party at their home and slowly getting to know other people...making connections, finding those common interests, the exchange of information...the simple humanity of it all.

when i've sat here and written about events in my life that were difficult, i took solace in your words of comfort and support, i let all of you in, as you did me and i am richer for it. this community of friends stretches around the world and continues to grow with every comment, so when i look at the sitemeter and see new places appearing, it is rather exciting, ok, it doesn't take much anymore ;) ... but i do have to admit...seeing a post from doj.gov (department of justice) was a BIT disconserting...but that, too, is another story...where was i...shiny objects...

anyway, there is no summation to this meandering because it is an ongoing process...it is what it is..my ramblings, my thoughts..my anecdotal file....

to be continued

it could happen...

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

addendum: courtesy of rhi *snickering*

and the answers are....

swf....river st on st patty's day is for college kids and tourists;) locals do their drinking at parties or on flat land away from the water....now, i personally, have no drunken stories to tell...ok, i don't have any i can remember BUT, i have been told that this past st pat's some or all of our children saw parade pictures of "interesting" outfits, received phone calls and spoke to everyone and anyone who grabbed the phone...

tony....best dream? that's a tough one...there's the one about the round the world cruise on a private yacht with...wait, i can't tell you that one...guess i'm not going to hear yours either, sugar ;) but it was my best dream!

rhi...(you already know me too well!) seriously, there isn't ONE best moment..that have been many...it's like the guinness commercial..question: which is the best pint you ever had? answer: the one in front of me! most recently would be finding out that mr savannah didn't need to have a splenectomy and his jaw didn't need to be wired...those were damn fine moments!

istavanski... a colonder is the person responsible for inserting the colon on marquees. it can also be used to designate the person responsible for performing a colonoscopy.

ellie...#1 i started blogging because i was always commenting on 2 blogs and it dawned on me that i was having fun and should start my own

#2 i've gained all of you! seriously, getting to know all of you has been a grand experience and one that i hope to continue

#3 no negatives so far. *knock on wood*

rock mum...no idea, sugar, but i will keep you posted! and bring tee shirts :)

queen of dysfunction....(you crack ME up!) i am indeed in savannah! we love it here, so of course, i'd reccommend relocating! as to being hounded out of town...hell, sugar, i'm still here ..this is a very tolerant place, but like any small town, you have to look at what you need and want for you and your family. my pic was taken out in los angeles...we were in the parking structure at the Grove mall...i was wearing a multi-colored thin cotton scarf.


and guess what..today the sitemeter reached 1000 posts (since march when i installed it) kinda cool and thank you, istavanski..you were the #1000...no prize, just thanks!

and today...

we're taking questions from the audience..there will be no postings from youtube or memes answered...no random thoughts...no rants, nor raves...just me waiting...to hear from you.








*because it's still all about me*

join the movement!

trust dick to keep us aware of an important social action!




get involved! do it!

and one more

this is the parody that e@l was talking about.

followed by another

an observation

happy mother's day!

thanks, rhi

8 unknowns or TMI about me

because rhian/crowwoman asked:

1. i read obscure translated mystery novels.

2. i like to listen to james blunt and jack johnson.

3. i write with a fountain pen whenever possible and always with blue ink.

4. i would rather wear flip flops than heels.

5. i love wearing OMG-did-she-go-to-europe-for-that-gorgeous-big-wide-brim-hats.

6. i really want to dye my hair green.

7. i hate having to explain myself.

8. i am the person that people cite as "most likely not to return this email"

and now you know why.

TGIF...why? i have no idea or "feeling ghetto fabulous"

I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk


nicked it from tony, but you can make your own by clicking on the link below the marquee.


might be back..ok, ya'll know i will!

thursday blues

i got nuttin...not a word, not a video...nothing


talk amongst yourselves.


(ok, maybe after coffee and the newspaper and some work, i'll be inspired)





(13:14 addition, enjoy)

(17:28 addition, this is it...the best i can do) (tomorrow is another day)

happy birthday, helvetica!

bbc bits

great little piece, especially the comments!

~~~~~~

if you've seen the weather alerts on cnn re: hurricane andrea, savannah (the city) is safe and sound, we've had high winds and rain, but nothing hellacious...

one more time...

chris bliss

because it makes me smile

monday

i hate cooking for one..even if it means i don't have to again for a few days.

we are not happy....

many thanks..again

hangar queen...thanks for the link, sugar! i am so enjoying your blog!

tony...you're the best...hope your trip was delish!

dee dee...jaysus! we need to TALK...today!

rhi...come on over..or we can meet half way...drink, sober up..and start all over again! thanks for the tip re miss frou!

manuel....so the pool boy gig is something you'd consider?

chica...*hugs* thanks, sugar

merisi! absolutely true...thanks for your good words...and here's to my visiting vienna!

ellie...lol..i know! we can't make up shit like this...real life...who knew?

ayres...think today i'll just sit in my robe and slippers and read/comment/blog all day...savvy?

tina sis!! *hugs* look for you later...thanks for the love, sugar!

james...thank you! you keep me honest, young blood! sounds like a party here when you and mrs b come up...SERIOUSLY!

doc...lookitheah, sugar! thanks

ok...i thought it would be easier to answer all ya'll in a post ...you were all so kind to leave me messages while i was driveby blogging!

more later

cinco de mayo

or in my case...just another excuse/day to drink 'ritas.

mr savmarshpapa is on his way back overseas...feeling much better than when he arrrived home and already planning a mid tour vacation. he won't be stateside again until mid july.

i'm just hoping he doesn't encounter any more bulls.

things i've been called...recently

marshmallow
georgia peach
puddin
punkin
babe
whenchy
savanarola
darlin
honey
honeypie
ceci (don't ask)

and my most recent favorite....
little missy

i swear, the woman must have been 100 if she was a day!

more soon...i pinky promise!

thursday

i know, i've become a hit and miss blogger again...

life, work, stuff is keeping me a bit busier than i like....

BUT...

i do have time to post comments on all ya'lls blogs!


don't hate the playa..hate the game, darlins!

*big kisses*

a moment to reflect...

never take anything or anyone for granted.

a good man died recently and i just found out about it. we'd never met in person, only online chats, emails, but it was, as with many of you reading this, as if we had met...he knew about my family, i knew about his...and now, he is gone.

too much loss recently...VT, the blue angel in beaufort...the hundreds almost daily in iraq...and the countless others that never make the news, lost to humanity because of neglect, greed, apathy and other reasons too base to even contemplate...

and...we live in hope of a better world, better times and each other..that goodness will prevail.

regina...just because

saturday/working title

things are getting back into some sort of normalcy around here...i'm not on any meds and mr savmarshpapa can move his jaw without wincing and almost has full body movement...in fact, there's a golf date set for tomorrow...we live in golf heaven down here and the weather should be grand...if any of you get a chance top see the legends golf tourney being held here (on tv, i mean) all of that is taking place right across the river from me...it's a gorgeous course and challenging, too...

thanks again for all of your good words and support...i am most grateful for all of your kindnesses.

we spent part of our afternoon out walking in the park celebrating earth day with our neighbors. it was one of those things that helps to restore your faith in the goodness of our species...and is a gentle reminder that we can make a difference even without trying.

you have all made a difference in my life.

almost the weekend

sorry, darlings, for not posting sooner and for my drivebys on your blogs...

e@l, ellie, merisi, john, dh, tony, traveling chica, rhi, indy and violet *w*...thanks much for your comments/concern, but most of all for making me smile during a very trying time. the mister is healing well. his oral surgeon is very pleased with how well his jaw is healing, the bruising all over his body has diminished...he will be fine..and yes, indy, he really is lucky to be alive! the injury happened 3 days before he left africa for home and medical care being what it is (don't get me started...) there, he flew home in pain, totally unaware of the extend of his injuries...in his words, "i was too busy to feel any pain." we spent the day after his homecoming in hospital and until 6pm that night, we weren't sure if he'd be on a plane friday morning or in a hospital bed recovering from surgery ( yeah, the doc thought he might have damaged his spleen)....sooooooo, that's his story..

mine wasn't as exciting or exotic...i had a really bad cold that developed into sinusitis and then morphed into bronchitis that almost developed into pneumonia...stress/flights out to the west coast (hellish flights btw) and THEN drama out in cali...the wedding was lovely btw, a small one out in palm springs, the bride was gorgeous, the groom divine..and ok, i swear...i had to be the ONLY woman (of a certain age) with grey hair and NO botox or nips&tucks...i mean, holy liposuction, batman..am i the ONLY one who's aged in the last 12 years????? but i digress...we spent the entire time out there on some sort of medication and/or draped around alcoholic beverage...and then we went back to la...yeah, baby, i drove a bigolegasguzzlingsuv...handsfree phone, dark glasses ..the whole cali uniform...

the drama for #1 son is still unfolding, but divorce seems likely and will be painful...it already is so sad...and my heart aches for them both.

the next week may only be hit and miss blogging..or at the very least, comments on all y'alls sites...

btw, ellie...congrats on your not smoking! ^5

thanks, darlings! i miss all y'all!

monday evening update

thanks for the concern and good thoughts...we're fine, sorry the last post was so cliffhangerish..but darlins...hand to god..it was all true...his accident took placein africa..and involved an errant bull (picture a texas longhorn steer being herded by fulani tribesmen) ..yeah..see what i mean? ya can't make up shit like this...

driveby blogging

almost back BUT...

here's the deal:

broken jaw
multiple bruises
xrays
oral surgeons
CAT scans

AND ...
that was JUST mr savmarshpapa.
he's fine, now...but it's been hectic...you can't make up shit like this...


and then there was the trip out west... *more on THAT later*

happy birthday, dee dee.. *w*

both sides now

i'll post when i can over the next couple of weeks.

be well, darlings, i'll miss all ya'll!

something about you...

morning meetings

there should be a law regarding meetings that BEGIN at 8AM.

...especially when i haven't had the benefit of a good sleep....yes, i was borderline insane and yes, i did, in fact, say if you want polite, don't invite me to a meeting at 8AM...BUT they did listen to my entire report AND no one asked me a single question.

(hoping there were enough commas in that sentence because i know all the correct apostrophes were used)

things to do when you can't sleep and david letterman is over

create your own visited countries map

pretty cool link..found on *ack* i have to find it again

here! (truth in blogging)

am i the only one...

who talks back to the screen? as in reading something and actually commenting OUTLOUD?

*having taken procrastination to new heights (or lows, i suppose), she began to talk to herself in the most outrageous manner*

**we shall now adjourn to the lounge for a drink**

incredible editing

found this here!


i love mondays! ok, sometimes..this one just happens to be one of the better mondays, of late anyway...


but i digress...

monday blurfing/avoidance techniques

found the clip here ... i have a fondeness for paris and artists, so this is always a great read/visual!



off to work *sigh*


~~~~too funny




ok..ONE more...

sunday rant

what makes someone think that just because they're driving an overpriced, ostentatious piece of machinery everyone else should bend to their will and accommodate their needs? but i do think she got the hint when i looked over my sunglasses and gave her my best "what part of this face even looks like it cares?" and then walked right into the store...


~~~~there will be more ranting today..i can feel it~~~~


not a rant, but a delightful diversion...found a delish site on paris For a good time, call Pascin at the Maillol! of course, i had to leave a comment as i'd seen the very same exhibit earlier this month... small world ... bloggin in paris whom i found via jay's mom jay being the cynical bastard!!! gawd, i love it!

so now you know... a few things..1) i am easily distracted and 2) i can't stay upset for very long 3) ok, about IMPORTANT things, yes, but not little stuff


~~~~there will be more~~~~

early evening commentary

so, went to the movies, first time in ages, but it was worthwhile: amazing grace see it...and remember, slavery still exists...we can be a force to remove the shackles.

friday 2nd entry

so, tonight it's flamenco!

check this out latcho drom

way too early...or not late enough

it's music festival time in my little town...just back in from hearing anoushka shankar ... great music/incredible combination of ancient technique/instrumentation and modern technology..east/west...all i could think of was wanting to dance...to move my hands, my hips, my body with the music the way i'd learned in saudi so long ago...henna designs...

i need to sleep.

image dna

Read my VisualDNA™     Get your own VisualDNA™

found this on ellie's blog i didn't bother to explain why i chose what i did, but it was kind of fun to see how the image selection defined me...*can ya tell it's raining and i'm avoiding serious work?*

just because

and thank you, John Gillespie for keeping twin peaks on my radar!

words we don't hear often enough or tuesday ramblings

"i respectfully disagree..."

what ever happened to civil debate? the phase i quoted was "uttered" on another blog (sorry, i can't remember where, but when i do i'll come back and insert it...now that i know how) actually, what ever happened to civility? manners? politeness? have we become so inured to crassness we no longer are concerned? of course, remembering where i'm from, the "my way or the highway" mentality has bogged us down not only in a horrific war based on lies and deceit (btw, there has finally been a call for impeachment of bush & cheney by the mayor of salt lake city, utah..go figure) and attempt to raise the level of conversation/dialogue on any subject is treated/responded to with derision or rude comments about ones political leanings, sexuality, propensity to abnormal acts and/or patriotism...but i digress, marginally, but nonetheless...i do wonder why we (americans) no longer seem to understand our own language and/or use it correctly...

*i started this at 9ish this morning, it's now a bit after 2pm*

another thing...*today is rage against (fill in the blank)* here's the deal...i keep wondering why people say "i can't stand *fill in name of tv personality/movie star*!" as if the speaker KNOWS this person...newcasters are presenting the news and for the most part, unless it's an editorial, they are telling you the facts as they are known at the time...actors are acting, they are reading lines someone has written, going through motions they been asked to do...in short, people doing their jobs... now, do we know these people? for the most part, no, angelina jolie isn't my neighbor, she doesn't live here...wolf blitzer and i do not share the same hairstylist (catty, i know) and so on...now, this topic, or rather, all of this came up today...as in, "gawdalmighty, i hate oprah!" do you know her? that was my response... i mean, how do you know what the woman is like in her daily life...why do we act as if these are people in our day to day experience...you don't like oprah? don't watch her show, buy her magazine, etc...choices people...you can make them...is this part of the same rant i had going earlier? i think so, this obsession with other people's lives ...case in point i read hill gal today and this just made me ill... pay attention to what's really happening in the world, folks...

give ivan a read!

~~~~~there will be more rambling/raving/ranting today~~~~

make your own radio station ...yeah, i'm kinda of lost now....

monday night or the day after the day after...

things are moving along...strangely, weirdly, at a pace unknown to me...
all of which is to say: i have no clue what's going on.

there have been phonecalls, emails, voicemails, text messages...and i still have no clue.

about what you might ask...

and there you go..welcome to my world!

it seems as if today is national leave a random message with savannah day!

go ahead, knock yourselves out...do it...eventually, i'll get back to you.

note to self

do not attempt blog changes the day after a party.

the day after..i think

seriously, had to look, it is sunday in savannah (great tune, btw, by nina simone) not much cleanup after yesterday's party here... somehow we all seemed to pickup after ourselves and generally maintain some sort of decorum..or at least, hide the evidence of misdeeds..but i digress...

so, the world didn't come to an end, none of my immediate family committed any felonies or rather, no one got caught, if they did...those friends who couldn't make it to the party enjoyed whatever it was that kept them at home...which i suppose is a good thing..no one needs a DUI..ok, another DUI, on their record and no one could have done the "come down and get me out of here" thing yesterday anyway...if it sounds as if all we do here is eat, drink and party..and gossip..that would sum up my town...i mean, lordy, there are barely 250, 000 people here on a good day..and i live in the historic district all 2.5 incestous square miles of it ...but that's another story...and i need more coffee...


~~~~there will be more....

because i can: my town

~~~~~~~
and then..early evening..

synchronicity because E@L and i have been tossing around the twin peaks theme...and yes, i have been blurfing.

wow, it works..i did it!

E@L

because E@L has ben on mah ass like white on rice to learn how to do links...E@L is first..thanks to Kim, who showed me where to find the answer! so now, when i blurf, ya'll will know exactly where lil miss savannah has been...

and to think, i did this under the influence...*bless mah heart*

a sweet friday surprise

so, checking the comments and what do i find? biggerhugs..yep right here on blogspot...and no, i havent learned how to hyperlink or anything..the dispenser of bigger hugs was kind enough to leave all the code on his/her site with instructions for the technology challenged...if i did everything right...the bear hug link should take you right there...

enjoy the weekend...if i don't see ya'll again...but i think i'll probably be posting on and off all day...

i'm in that mood

evening edit...*gawd, it's still light outside and the clock says 6:44PM*

anyway, my town has gone green again...once a year for the the days preceeding st. patrick's day, everything and everyone is irish here! i mean, even I'M wearing a green shirt today! people are staking out places to view the parade tomorrow...we have close to 700,000 extra people in town for the holiday!!! it's actually rather nice...people are reminded of the history of the irish in savannah, their contributions then and now...and besides, there are sooooooooo many bagpipers playing EVERYWHERE, it's just too much fun...

i love my little town!

update

the details are unimportant...the resolution is:

separation which will probably lead to a divorce....all of the words that have been written recently by others far more articulate than i, have helped far more than you know and for that alone, i am will be eternally grateful. my son will recover, as will his soon to be ex-wife.

thank you again, y'all are too sweet!

just when you think...

it can't get any worse, it does...

phonecalls
tears
threats
and then all over again.

anger can be justifed, people have been hurt, but threats of violence against those who've done you no harm...threats of violence against yourself...all as tools of manipulation? no, it has to stop...he was wrong, but so were you....you both stopped talking to each other, you both took the line of least resistance and you both failed...

yourselves

and each other....

enough.

end this now.

the story so far...

bad melodrama. i thought i could post it here, but i can't. there is a saved draft which if nothing else..cleared my head. we'll deal with this as a family.

and i promise, i'll not post anymore tests or make crazy random posts on any of your blogs..ok, maybe i can't really keep THAT promise.

but thanks for everything anyway.

i know, i know...

go to bed, savannah.

1.36 in the morning

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

1.30 in the morning....

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

an observation

looking at blog lists...waiterrant is a common link on many lists...

blurfing is fun...

and immensely distracting.

something

i've tried to write about what's going on a few times today, but i haven't been able to find the right way...so, i've been reading other blogs...blurfing my way around, as well...and really just not dealing well with the issue/matter...

it isn't me..i'm just an observer...

(i'll continue this...i just thought if i put something out here...i'd have to deal with it)

i've got nothing

crazy mad family issues...i can't even begin to write about yet. too close, too painful...and way too sad.

all i could do today was comment on other blogs...

march 8th, 1969

our anniversary

lots of years and 4 children later...

the song says it all...

We've been together since way back when
Sometimes I never want to see you again
But I want you to know, after all these years
You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear

You're still the one I want to talk to in bed
Still the one that turns my head
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

I looked at your face every day
But I never saw it 'til I went away
When winter came, I just wanted to go
Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow

You're still the one that makes me laugh
Still the one that's my better half
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You're still the one that makes me strong
Still the one I want to take along
We're still having fun, and you're still the one (yes you are!)

Changing, our love is going gold
Even though we grow old, it grows new

You're still the one that I love to touch
Still the one and I can't get enough
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You're still the one who can scratch my itch
Still the one and I wouldn't switch
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You're still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one...

thanks, mr. savannah!

this made me smile

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4776181634656145640

i know chris bliss and his incredible juggling has made the email rounds numerous times, but today... the lyrics are perfect, the fluidity of movement makes things just a bit brighter and maybe someone else will smile...

indulge me, ok?

yeah, yeah, i know...

i'm supposed to be getting a new browser, so i can do all the fancy-techno-whizkid-thingies...downloading one, right? that's the technical term, isn't it?

see why i'm avoiding it?

i don't even know what i'm supposed to be doing is called!!!

i should call the geek squad

if you don't laugh....

go back to bed...because even out of context, ...this is funny:

"The Tequila Mockingbird"

i know i don't have to explain it, right?


wandering off, laughing hysterically...


again.

back to words...

thre's a fine line in blogging/commenting and i think i might have crossed it...

let me explain ... i felt as if i *knew* someone just from their blog, you know that feeling? they seem to get your humor and you seem to get theirs...BUT written words, even between people you actually KNOW, are flat and can read as overly sarcastic or meanspirited...so a random comment that was intended as humorous might not have read that way and perhaps, might have rankled and/or offended....so the question is,

how do you say i'm sorry?

or am i just hypersensitive today?

a thought for the weekend

be kind....to yourself, to someone you love..but do it.

one last thought...

for today anyway...

sometimes the best thing to say...is nothing at all.

sometimes...

http://www.lrb.co.uk/v27/n03/wein01_.html

courtesy of http://ivangoldman.blogspot.com


a great example of words.

Just because

Stuck in the Middle With You , Steelers Wheel

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you,
Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
Stuck in the middle with you.

words

i've discovered that many people seem to have gotten stuck in using only one definition of a word, forgetting that sometimes a word MIGHT have more than one. it's one of the lovely features of the english language (which is the one i speak and the one i am speaking of, with, of course, no disrespect or intention to minimize or denigrate any other)... as i was saying befoe i got lost in parenthetical statement land, english has a nuance/subtlety that can bring a smile or a very quizzical look to the face of the reader and/or listener...now, of course, i am beginning to ramble...i should divulge the reason or rather inspiration for this verbal meandering, but why? you, dear reader, can probably interject your own similar experience...you know what i mean, you've wondered as well..i know it!

*********************

it's a rainy day here...there will be more postings...i can feel it.

home again, home again..clickedy, click...

jetlagged.
tired.
the clock says 10am, the body says... "it's 4pm, we need a drink and some food"

checking mail/reading blogs/drinking coffee:
snailmail 3 piles:junk, bills, magazines
email *note to self: check at least once when on holiday*
blogs: found a new read

http://ivangoldman.blogspot.com

coffee: outstanding!

my mug, my house, my town...i am a damn lucky woman

good reading

http://house-of-sternberg.blogspot.com


a discussion on poetry...part 1 anyway.

see ya'll next week!

feeling it...

out of the loop
out of touch
old


or
maybe...

ahead of the game
glad to be alive
and enjoying it, too!

i think i'll go with the latter, it's all closer to the truth. besides, everyone will get to their own "spot of contentment" eventually... and sometimes, maybe all the time...it's ok to just revel in the now.

all the places you'll go

http://mhaithaca.livejournal.com/ found via waiterrant.net musing of a cornell professor

http://www.bookslut.com/blog/ i think my son sent this to me...always a great read

http://surgeonsblog.blogspot.com/ i dont even remember how i got here, but i bookmarked it

http://margraves.blogspot.com/ because i lived this life

http://saudijeans.blogspot.com/ in this country

http://sandgetsinmyeyes.blogspot.com/ the american expat experience

http://burnettiquette.blogspot.com/

http://queenofdysfunction.blogspot.com/

http://www.cynicalbstd.blogspot.com/

http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/


the next step is to learn how to link everso neatly instead of just posting urls... i couldn't really retrace the crazy route i took the other day, but these are some of the places i go...

addendum: there are others, but ya'll know who you are and since i still cant figure out how to hyperlink...we'll just leave it at that. *w*

struggling with stuff...

ok, so i tried to follow the directions for doing links as TC suggested (thank you again, chica) BUT it must be different for MAC users...suggestions? instructions? dont make me read the manual..please

tangents...

killing time while i wait for an appointment...

reading one of my favorite blogs and stumbled on a new poster...followed the link to his site...and then another...absolutely fascinating...i know people have written about this experience before, but it never ceases to amaze me how: 1. interconnected we are 2. how delightful it is to find a new writer 3. how this always reminds me of book reviews or spending time at the local bookstore...

*nothing original here, i know...i'm WAITING and amusing myself*

hump day/wednesday

i have managed to score a "get out of jail" card for a week...ok, it's work related, but only for a day, the rest of week is all about fun! so the remainder of this week is prep time and i'm gone all next week....indy was right..this IS blog light week *w*

life is so short and we're dead so long.

be well, m'loverlies! i'll send ya'll some postcards from the edge ...

give me a reason...

to smile today.

some days it's impossible to be pollyanna.

an op-ed piece to share...

I have no idea how ya'll link things so neatly, so I just copied this article from the International Herald Tribune...seemed appropriate...

Meanwhile: I am, therefore I doubt
John Patrick Shanley
The Boston Globe
Thursday, February 8, 2007

There are two predominant ways of dealing here in the United States. There is the culture of doubt, and there is the culture of dogma. Both are remedies to the problem of choice.

It is indicative that one of the most incendiary and divisive issues of the last many years swirls around the word choice. Should a woman have the right to choose? Are you pro-life or pro-choice? How would you respond?

The majority of Americans have already been asked many times if they are pro-life or pro-choice and they already have your answer. Most people know that pro-life is code for one thing, and pro-choice is code for its opposite.

When they are asked if they are pro- life or pro-choice, they are being asked to declare themselves politically. It is a political question that defines reality as an either/or proposition. And it's a bit of a trick. My impression is that people still answer when asked, but they've grown weary of the question; it's inhuman. We know instinctively there's more to life.

Religion is often the arbiter in these matters. We look to our church, temple, or mosque for a moral ruling.

I remember at my church school in the Bronx a priest described a dilemma to my eighth-grade class. "Your wife and your mother are both drowning and you can save only one. Which one do you save?" Most of us answered that we would save our moms.

The priest said: "Wrong! Once you are married, your primary responsibility is to your wife. You should save your wife."

I remember picturing the dark waters closing over my mother's head as I held a shivering indistinct female.

Then I went to a Catholic high school. In one of my textbooks, it had a section on logic. In this section, there was a list of fallacies. One leapt out at me. It was called the Limited Choice Fallacy. An orator or teacher or politician or priest offers you a choice, but the choice is in itself misleading. My mind flew back to my drowning wife and mother. I had been played! I had been a victim of the Limited Choice Fallacy.

Another question out there, more immediate at the moment, is Iraq. "Should we stay in Iraq or should we get out?"

It's an irritating question because again it is not human. It appears to be direct and clear, but it leaps over everything important that needs to be discussed and understood. It's dogma framed as choice. So I have a suggestion. Don't fall for it.

Responsible, thinking people do not lead a yes-or-no existence. Responsible, thinking people do not have to reduce complicated subjects down to "for" or "against."

How did the church scandals happen? How could they have been so extensive? Why were the victims treated as culprits, and the culprits protected? Well, people made up their minds. They made a choice. People decided who to trust and what to believe. And anything they saw or heard that did not conform to those choices, those facts simply were not allowed to exist.

There is a tendency in our time and perhaps throughout time to simplify. We all want it simple. We want to know what to do. A great communicator is one who can break it down for you — "Just give me the bottom line." "Cut to the chase."

Well, life and morality and governance, adequate citizenship, are not about "the chase." Just as having a spiritual life is not about making up your mind once and for all. True spirituality is present, it's alive and observant.

Doubt is not paralysis. Certainty is. Doubt keeps the doors and windows open. Belief is one room with no way out. Do not let others impose a polarity of response on you. You need not live a reactive life. Don't look to have life explained to you, presented to you. Live the life that emanates from your interior greatness. Be an overwhelming bounty of impressions, ideas, conflicting theories, and let the propellant behind all this be generosity. A giving.

Never look to the opposite side to change. It is always your turn to change. Society begins and ends with each of us. If you want to reverse some frustrating polarization of thought you encounter in others, I invite you to passionately doubt everything you believe.

friday wrap-up ....

10am..when is this day going to end?

the amount of coverage over the death of one woman who is famous for being famous is unnerving. what about the deaths that are occurring AT THIS VERY MOMENT due to war, disease, poverty....why the focus on one while we ignore the millions?

i need a break...

tis to laugh...

just read another blog, left a post and realised...

I HAVE TRIP ANXIETY!

yes, that consummate traveler, that glorious gadabout, yes, your one and only savannah....is *petrified* that she will indeed have to board a plane AGAIN ...it seems as if everything is saying don't go, stay home, find another way, do it another time...JUST NOT NOW. this is not me, i have a really good attitude about traveling, i love it..i can sleep on a plane, in an airport, we all ready know i sleep in cabs - flying, driving, trains...ok, not buses or boats (long story for another time) BUT anyway....i keep asking myself: WHY? followed by, when did i turn into such a superstious old crone??? and the other thing, what's up with this idea of signs??? wtf does that mean? i'm turning into a bad movie *ACK*

the floor is open for suggestions....


11:12PM/23:13....YIKES! ok....i am sooooo changing the colors!

surfing

is there a word for blog surfing?

besides "fun"

i am so easily amused.....

clitus, i'm bored

*ming in flash gordon*


feel free to comment on the new color choice *s*

midweek madness

things seem to spike on wednesday, as if instead of being that midpoint where nothing happens, life seems to hop/skip/jump around..no rhyme or reason (great trite saying, but really true) to anything..in my world anyway. i was supposed to leave soon, but the schedule has become fluid. ok, i can deal with that, i'm not buying the ticket BUT it does make it ever so slightly difficult to rsvp for meetings, social gatherings, etc. not that i'm whining, but hell, this has become a fantastic place to just ramble on until the desire to scream, throw things, punch someones lights out subsides...

but back to my spike theory...

or not.

it's magic

connections/reconnections...

conversations started/finished, as if no time had lapsed in between...the strength and loveliness of friendship.


my blue funk has vanished.

what a difference a day makes

btw, movie and singer?

9:30PM...

is there some cosmic level out there? one friendship rekindles as another dies?

insert witty title here

that blue funk i wrote about the other day? well, it's still out there...

sometimes, no matter what goodness/positivity you send out...only malevolence/negativity return to haunt you.

where is scarlett when i need her?

oh well

the colts took the game 29 - 17 i really wanted the bears to win...

actually, i REALLY wanted the saints to win...go to the super bowl and walk away with the trophy...but since that didn't happen...da bears had my support...

sidebar...

falling out of favor....

what happens when you're no longer the "new new thing" ... watching someone go into a free fall now and wondering why she cares... nothing i say seems to matter which makes me wonder what to do ... social aspirations, genteel society...what century are we living in?

what was the song? different strokes for different folks...

i think i'm going to turn my phone off...

part II

so, it seems that most of the people i know are still suffering from this debilitating, gut wrenching, lung collasping, hacking cough, lose your ability to concentrate on more than one thing cold...a series of calls made and received confirmed that none of our crew is having/attending any social gatherings today. which is fine with me because i made no plans, i have my newspapers, some new books to start and one to finish....if i can remember where i left it...

mr savannah is concerned about my well being (bless his heart) but he is a gazillion miles away, so while i appreciate the sentiment, i'm still making my own soup and whining about it..and feeling miserable...whatever that blue funk was that infected the universe the other day ( ya'll know who you are) it is still lingering and seems to be living in my house today...

*wait for it*

sunday in savannah...

today is superbowl MMMMCMXCIX

i will probably make breakfast soon, read the local paper...make a quick run to the market...pick up the NYT...and park myself in front of the big screen. question is will i be watching the game...

to be cont.

interesting....

a really quiet saturday...i'd forgotten what they were like.

i quit...

smoking..

two weeks ago.

i think it's been that long, the cold meds helped mask some of the withdrawal...

until yesterday.

something's happening here...

...what it is, i ain't exactly sure...


perfect song for today...there is some sort of undercurrent, some disturbance that i can't define, grasp, explain...pick a word...it's as if every person i know is "vexed" today...as if today, we all realised it isn't going to get any better, in fact, it will probably get worse AND...

there isn't one thing we can do to change it!

and i'm still dealing with this cold/bug that's keeping me drugged and borderline paranoid....and hungry!

but i digress...

another blogger wrote a piece that startled me...the despair about his situation, as i read it, was PALPABLE! i hope it was a momentary thing... a lose of *faith* the lateness of the hour...we've all been there... but today, i've heard the same feeling expressed, different situations, of course, but still the same despondency, hopelessness and melancholy, hence my questioning why...

are we all suffering from the same malaise? the same sense of wretchedness? overwhelmed by misery?

or is it just too much bad news?

so long, sister molly

molly ivins is dead at 62.

a loud, brash, opinionated, smartass broad! she wrote honestly and with a wicked-oh-so-wild sense of humor. she could peg a fool, dress him down for all to see and then end it with bless his heart.

and we all knew what that meant.

here's to you, molly!

the sovereign state of texas will never be the same...

i forgot...

how great it is to work with people...i mean on a daily basis...i miss officemates...ok, not really... i guess i just miss the two friends i went out with tonight...after work drinks for them...and just another opportunity for me *not to drink alone* and to catch up on city gossip...i miss the economic development game and all of the political intrigue...every city has it and every public servant knows the rules...no names, no clues ...just a wink, a nod..and low voices....but i digress...
i actually wanted to write about something other than my evening out ...something i read earlier, but it seems so unimportant now...but why should that stop me?...

age...and what's important...to me, anyway.

i take so much for granted or maybe it's that i no longer have the time to waste wondering "if or should i"...it all comes down to "why not?"

i have what i need...the extras i give away...we have so much. which brings to mind another thing we (americans) seem to have turned into a fine art: creating a need...or rather a perception of a need... it started at a restaurant...lunch, new area in a city we know and hate...we were seated and the next question from the the lovely hostess..."would you care for a black napkin?" (slight pause on our part, as we wondered if we'd heard correctly) "no, these white ones are fine"....now, i've been served in many different places in many different cities all over the world...and this question was a surprise to me, anyway...so, having no social shame/inhibitions.. i asked the waiter...

"why?"
his response (seriously...) "pants"
pardon me? i asked

ok, i'll spare you the withering look he gave me...

evidently, up in atlanta, if you're wearing dark colors on your lower half, you MUST use, you absolutely HAVE to have a dark napkin! who knew? ok, everyone but me, i guess...so, this small incident became a touchstone for all that is wrong with our consumer society...perceived needs without regard for global impact and/or the debasing of our own souls in pursuit of more...

i'm rambling now...probably because this conversation is still going on within me and i need to refine it, but i also know i need to start writing again..so bear with me.

i'm ok.

have you missed me?

sooooooo....

yes, i've been away....but you knew that

yes, i've thought about all ya'll and you knew that, too


and yes, i'll be blogging again.... SURPRISE!...you weren't sure, were you?

seven days since last she wrote...

your savannah has been out and about! reveling in the holiday spirit (and spirits) in ridiculously warm weather by night...and by day, has been the dutiful domestic goddess preparing for the return of the pirate king and the onslaught of her own-yes-i-gave-birth-to-them mongol hordes and their respective spouses, friends and assorted crews...

and the party hasn't even started yet!!

so merry christmas, happy hanukkah, happy kawanzaa, winter solstice cheer, seasons greetings....enjoy!

our time on this earth is so short.


ps. raise a glass on 31 dec...it's my birthday....and happy new year *w*

almost midnight in the garden...

..minus the evil.

there is a hymn i vaguely remember (all those years of catholic school*sigh*)...the lyric that stayed: ..."may goodness follow you always, until the end of your days..." or something like that...but that's how today was...goodness wrapped her arms around me and i reveled in the joy of just being alive. yes, there was horrendous traffic..big deal...it moved eventually...yeah, there were grumpy, pissed off christmas shoppers in the mall, but it was ok...i could smile, surprise some poor dear by saying, "please, you go first, i'm in no rush..." and watch her face move from tense to shock to a smile...in an instant...small mercies we can give to each other....

the last few days, i've struggled with personal issues, wondered about how to proceed, the what if scenarios, those internal conversations...this ongoing process of living in the 21st century with all of its complications and demands still is just a series of choices...some simple (do i wear the black or the grey) and some profound/complicated/layered (can i say yes? should i ask? sign here), but no matter what, we make a choice....and i did...to be in the moment, to not over think a situation(s) and to be "mad, bad and dangerous to know."

...and i know how to pack a suitcase!

blank

i went back to my "dead tree blog" (thank you, indiana for that term)...and posting a few comments on other sites. writing has always been a solitary outlet for me and that was fine. aside from "work related " writing, i've been the only one who's ever read my work...ok, some poems have been shared, there were a few joint projects, but on the whole, it's been just for me. this public, however limited, record is too exposed. or maybe, i'm too sensitive about the unknown... or maybe...

it's a mystery

about last night...

(started on sunday around noon...and then nfl sunday started...)

perfect timing...almost an hour late which meant everyone was already tipsy and talkative.

the growing mystery....did she order a hit on her husband?

last year around this time...in a galaxy not far away (wrong movie) i mean, there's a posh, old money area outside of the historic district where this couple bought a house...quiet street...solid traditional "i don't flaunt my wealth, it's a given" environment (you get the picture every city has an area like this). "socialite" husband, as the local rag described him, pulls his benz into the drive and according to the wife, he was surrounded by thugs and shot...car, money, watch, everything of material value still there...but he was dead. immediate reaction when the story broke...whoa, something is not right...what should/could have been a robbery/carjacking should not have resulted in a death..a murder. flash forward to present day, local rag does another story about the murder...nothing new, but questions are finally being asked about who benefited from his death, why so many conflicting stories/explanations from the wife...and why didn't anyone hear the screeching tires she said brought her outside?

damn, i am the only one who watches "law & order"

it's too sad and common.

hate your spouse? get a divorce, don't do time for murder...leave him/her and live well.

isn't that the best revenge?

saturday and i'm awake too early

this might be my first all day long entry...

so, it's almost 8am and i've been awake since 6...why, you might ask? technology...a buzz on IM woke me...it was on and i responded...after a short exchange that was done..but since i'm here, why not check mail, read the papers online, visit a few other daily read blogs...wow, found a new one...you know the drill.."shiny objects* ...and here it is 8am...but i will not go downstairs and make coffee..that would be a REAL commitment to being awake!

my bed is calling me...

i'll be back

11:06am

still in jammies, BUT i have had coffee... found an invitation to a party tonight i'd forgotten about, which probably gives an indication of my level of anticipation when i received it*yawn*....BUT i'm going anyway because there is a mystery building in my little town...and i've been in a poirot/sherlock holmes/nero wolfe dvd mode....so i am prime for action.

the game is afoot!

4:05pm

wow...where did the day go? and i'm still in MY JAMMIES!!!!

next post is after the party with details....if i'm still lucid...

and frankly, rhett, i don't give a damn!

my birthday is 23 days away... husband, children are all coming home, major parties are being planned (by me) and i am, once again, surprised by my age...the number isn't important, it just sounds so OLD! but, it isn't my mother's **, that's for sure! i kayak, travel alone, stay out all night and party with the best of them, don't know how to knit, still can turn a head and even better...none of it matters.... i revel in my grey "skunk" streak over my right temple, i wear the clothes i like, not what some designer says is correct, i speak my mind... and i still believe, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, in the goodness of humanity.

i'm part of that generation that was going to live hard and die young...or so we said...

I'm part of that generation that was going to change the world...and we did, but not the way many of us had thought...

i'm part of that generation that said i will raise my children to be critical thinkers, good of heart and generous of spirit...

and i did.


and i ain't dead yet...there's still a lot of play left in this aging southern california hippie/georgia dixie chick!

keep on truckin, momma

so that happened...

this has been one of those days that started far too early! all because yesterday ended far too late and with far more drama then this ole gal can handle! (ok, wants to handle)...mean spirited words that wouldn't be taken back/explained/apologized for....a degeneration into semantic games and distortions...and in the end...just that....

goodbye.


ok, so now, am i better for having gone through this? of course, i'm alive, learned a lesson again about being too trusting and i have something to write about....i am too polite! somewhere along the line i have forgotten how to ignore, how to use the "cutting glance" to dismiss those who do not deserve my attention, to say, "enough"... self preservation of mind and spirit (because, lord knows, i will cut and run from physical danger..i ain't a fool) must be safeguarded from sad, miserable people who seek only to bring one down to their sorry state. sometimes savannah (me) is far too kindhearted for her own good! ameloriation can be impossible, tolerance unallowable and forgiveness beyond ones ability.

and that's ok...as the song goes, "you have to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em..."

so why do i still feel saddened for the experience?

you can't always get what you want, but sometimes...you get what you need

on a good day, there are 154,00 residents of this town...the MSA pushes that number up to 254,000, but that's 3 counties and really is a figure only used by economic developers/or the chamber of commerce...but i digress...5 colleges/universities...museums..thriving arts community...2 military bases and the 4th busiest port on the eastern seaboard...not too shabby for a little town in the south...

all of that aside, this town lives on gossip, especially, the 2.5 square miles of the historic district where i live. i was called for jury duty last year and good citizen that i am, i made no excuse, i showed up..and was excused during the process..why, you might say? the only person i didn't know was the defendant...what are the chances of that happening in los angeles, nyc or any other major city in the usa? but then, what can you expect from a town where houses are referred to by the name of the original owner? so, what does this have to do with gossip? small pond mentality, more women than men, the humidity? i haven't a clue, but i do know, sometimes the rumor mill can give a person a far more exciting life than reality bestowes. (some backstory, i drift in and out of town on an irregular basis without much fanfare.) so it was rather amusing to find out that i'd moved to morocco and i hadn't even left town! ok, i had moved from one end of the district to the other, but it isn't exactly a foreign country.

it's a pirate town. the first lines of "treasure island" were penned here...characters abound...after "hey" which is southern for hello, the first question is "what would you like to drink" water, coffee and tea are not considered drinks. so, the scene is set for massive amounts of material, real or imagined, for social currency set in southern hospitality and gentility...with only one caveat...if you see me, that means i see you, so neither of us will mention names..just provide details over drinks when the conversation starts to ebb and embelish the hell out of the story, ya heah? because i most certainly will...

i love this place.

revelations & commentary

this town is too small to admit you've started a blog, unless you're a college student.

a casual remark set off a torrent of shrieks, howls and otherwise unlady-like guffaws from some female friends...first question after they were able to compose themselves: "will i be in it?" followed by, "oh mah gawd, dahlin...yew will change names, right?" so, of course, i said i wasn't even going to speak about any of them, just random musings on life, liberty and the pursuit of justice *ok, maybe not that exact phrase* now, normally, one would think that laughter, a few more jokes would occur and the topic would change...but nooooo, that would be too much like right! my dearest friends turned on me, eyebrows arched and lips pursed and to a woman, they said:

"AND WHY THE HELL NOT?"

men are so much easier to talk to.


(5:15PM probable unneeded clarification: i am NOT a college student.)

movies and other things

i pitched a concept over drinks yesterday: FIVE (5) all-time-everyone-must-see movies...not your favorite 5, but movies that have changed the medium. sounds easy, right? after "citizen kane" (think of the opening scene) we were all stymied...none of us are in the film industry or were film majors (of course, that wasn't even offered when i was in college...but i digress) anyway...just people who love the movies/flicks..the show. we quote movies all the time, use them as punctuation marks in conversations and even stranger at times...use them as shorthand to capture a moment/feeling/person..think "the player" which was a great read and at that time in my life like too many people i knew (another reason to leave l.a) the conversation drifted (as i tend to do, but that's another story) to other aspects of film..what makes a movie good? after much discussion far too disjointed to remember now, the bottomline: the story, everything else enhances...so, what's next?

books...bought pynchon's latest, it's still sitting on the dining room table daring me to start, "reading like a writer" by francine prose, "isaac's storm" and "thunderstruck" by eric larson (he also wrote "the devil in the white city"), "the children of men" by p.d.james and "absurdistan" by gary shteyngart. barnes and noble is my friend, but i do miss the small independent bookstore that used to be here and for that fact, in so many cities. they've been gobbled up or forced out by mega box stores. over simplification of the situation, i know, i understand the economics of the marketplace, but it does bring to mind a larger question about growth and/or change. so what to do? there is another independent here, so next purchases will be from her, even though i won't get a members 10 - 15% discount like at b&n (my rationale for so many books at one time), but i will be shopping local and doing my small part for stand alone, small business.

and then there's music...

"Shut up, I'm having a rhetorical conversation."

movie?

an ongoing conversation with myself and whoever stumbles by...be amusing or interesting...the gentleman said. i must admit, it was great to see a comment...well, 2 actually..so yes, i am already hooked...and it does seem fair to put something of myself out here since i've been so quick to comment on other sites *cough, e@l, cough* so, there it is or here it is..the ramblings of one woman living in the sovereign state of chatham, the land of peaches and cream, jim beam & coke, the cutting glance, otherwise known as savannah, georgia.
let the party begin!

*ack*

i started the previous post on 28nov and just posted it today...that is sad. i think my blogging career is over already...how do ya'll do this every single day?